


Bones and teeth and bitter things

by Pomodoridori



Series: Fishman & Dollface, a series [5]
Category: Naruto
Genre: M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, itachi does not, kakuzu and kisame have a good time.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-04
Updated: 2018-02-04
Packaged: 2019-03-13 18:27:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13576392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pomodoridori/pseuds/Pomodoridori
Summary: Kakuzu loses his patience, and Kisame enjoys it throughly.  Itachi's considering skinning them alive to cope.





	Bones and teeth and bitter things

Almost two years after their first mission together, Kisame and Kakuzu finally got around to having sex.  They’d never really discussed it much, but sexual tension hung heavy in the air between them, especially when they’d wake in the mornings in each other’s arms.  They both knew their casual touches had moved from the realm of platonic friendship into something else a long time ago-- but neither said a word.

Until late one summer night Kakuzu lost his patience and hooked Kisame’s arm with his and whispered in his ear,  _ ‘follow me _ ’.   

Under the half light of candles they went to the bed they shared and fucked.

It went like this--

Kisame and Kakuzu fell together in a tangle of limbs. Kisame was grabbing at Kakuzu’s neck and the back of his head; Kakuzu was busy running his hands down Kisame’s back to palm at his ass. Suddenly Kisame kissed Kakuzu, hard, and Kakuzu gave a grunt of surprise. Kisame’s mouth tasted sweet, until one of his teeth caught on Kakuzu’s lip and flooded their mouths with the taste of bloody iron. Kakuzu ignored it, focusing instead on the feeling of Kisame’s hands carding through his hair and the rushing lightheadedness that was slowly growing in the pit of his belly.   
Something hard was poking at Kakuzu’s leg.   
Kisame grabbed one of Kakuzu’s hands and dragged it away from his asscheeks to press it into the crotch of his pants. Kakuzu’s breath stuttered in surprise.   
“Please,” Kisame huffed, “get me off.”  
Kakuzu only had to think about it for a moment to grunt in assent, slipping a knee between Kisame’s thighs and spreading them forcefully. When Kakuzu pushed Kisame down onto the bed Kisame’s breath hitched. And the little whine Kisame made when Kakuzu brushed his hand down to finger at the roll of fat on his hips instead of touching the bulge in his pants went straight to Kakuzu’s dick.  
“Kakuzu,” Kisame groaned, voice a little breathy, “Please. I’ve waited almost a year.”  
Kakuzu blinked to digest the information. “You’ve wanted to have sex for a year?”  
“With you,” Kisame clarified, and before his eyes could wander down to Kakuzu’s crotch Kakuzu kissed him hard, all teeth.  Kisame shivered.   
Kakuzu finally gave in and squeezed Kisame’s dick through his pants.  Kisame stopped licking into Kakuzu’s mouth to shudder and groan.  “Do that again,” Kisame commanded, and Kakuzu did. Then Kakuzu all but yanked down Kisame’s pants. 

Kisame wriggled out of his boxers before laying back languidly against the pillows.  His body was flushed purple-ish, especially his face and chest, Kakuzu noticed, licking his lips.   _ Interesting. _

Kisame gave Kakuzu a nervous grin and slowly moved his hands so that they were cushioning the back of his head.  “There’s lube in the drawer of the bedside table,” he said.

Kakuzu sighed.   _ And you’re going to make me get it, hm? _

Kisame frowned, and squirmed a little, looking uneasy.  “Something wrong?”  

“No, you lazy bastard,” Kakuzu grunted before shuffling through the drawer to find the lube.

“Okay,” replied Kisame, still sounding wary.  Kakuzu didn’t bother trying to comfort him.   _ He’ll be fine as soon as I touch his dick, anyway.  He’s not the type to need much reassurance. _

Kakuzu crawled next to him so that he was at Kisame’s eye level, plopped down on his side, and squirted a generous amount of lube onto his hand.  Then he reached to grab at Kisame’s erection, smearing the lube over the shaft and head.  He made sure to squeeze, just a little.

Kisame made a low, pleased sound.  Kakuzu rolled his thumb over the head of Kisame’s dick, and Kisame shuddered.  “Ufgh, Kakuzu,” he said, all breathy, “I wanna touch you, too.  Take off your pants, at least...”

Kakuzu paused.  Kisame was watching him carefully. “Kisame,” Kakuzu began, carefully managing his immediate response, because  _ now was not the time to be irate _ , “I’m not...I would rather…”  Kakuzu trailed off, unsure of how to continue.

Kisame blinked at him, rolling his hips unconsciously into Kakuzu’s fist.  “S’okay.  I just...wanted to reciprocate, y’know?”

Kakuzu grunted, still feeling a little unsteady.

“Kakuzu,” Kisame huffed, curling forward to press his face into Kakuzu’s neck, “it’s okay, really.  I don’t wanna make you-- mmph-- uncomfortable.”

“Mm,”  Kakuzu relaxed somewhat, and kissed the top of Kisame’s head.  “I’m gonna get you off now.”

“Hgh.”  Kisame’s eyes were half lidded and he was slowly thrusting into Kakuzu’s fist.  Precome was beading at the tip of his dick and smearing all over the head of it.  

Kakuzu waited until Kisame’s breathing had gotten heavy and his hips were stuttering erratically before leaning down to bite at the shell of Kisame’s ear.  Kisame gave a long, low moan, and suddenly Kakuzu’s hand was wet and sticky.  Kakuzu gave a pleased grunt at Kisame’s flushed face and kissed him on the lips.

Kisame reciprocated, sloppily, getting saliva everywhere, still riding his high, and then panted, “Thanks,” when the kiss was over.

Kakuzu hummed when Kisame reached around to sling his arms around his torso.  Kakuzu let his eyes close to half mast and dozed for a while, at least until the cum on his hand had begun to get cold and uncomfortable and crusty.  

“I need to get up,” Kakuzu groused, and elbowed Kisame’s belly a little.

“Hnngh,” Kisame said, sounding  _ very  _ satisfied, but he let Kakuzu pull away easily enough.  “Just come back,” Kisame added, tongue heavy with sleep.

Kakuzu mumbled something noncommittally and went to wash the semen and lube from his hand.  When he got back to the bed Kisame was half asleep, but somehow he still managed to cling to Kakuzu like a gigantic octopus.

“You smell like sex,” Kakuzu said, and Kisame rumbled at him.

“Shh, m’tired.”

“Your dick is covered in lube and cum.  Clean it.”

“Shh,” Kisame swatted at him, “I’m trying to nap, just cuddle with me, don’t be a bastard…”

Kakuzu chuckled at him.  “Fine.  But I’m not wiping your dick off.”  

“Nobody asked you to,” Kisame grumbled, and rolled over so that his back was facing Kakuzu.  Taking the hint, Kakuzu slung an arm over Kisame’s belly and let himself doze.

\---

“Kakuzu.”

Something was elbowing his belly.

“Mmph,” Kakuzu replied, cracking open an eye.

“Didn’t you say you were going out to buy supplies later this afternoon?  It’s four.”

Kakuzu considered a moment.  “Fuck that.”

Kisame’s lips twitched upwards, and he said, “You sound like Hidan.”

Kakuzu wrinkled his nose.  “Don’t be ridiculous.”

Kisame’s shoulders hitched as he suppressed a giggle and he got that glint in his eyes that Kakuzu sort of liked.  “Mmhmm.”

Kakuzu spent a moment tracing over Kisame’s face, and then his body, with his eyes.   _ Fuck, he’s pretty. _  Then, after a seeing Kisame’s penis, Kakuzu remembered.

“Ugh,” Kakuzu growled, “I forgot that we needed to talk about that.”

Kisame’s brow creased.  “About what?”

“When you offered to do me, and I refused.  There was a reason, you know.”

“Oh.  Yeah, I was wondering about that but I didn’t want to pressure you.  Since you’re grouchy enough as it is.”

That was true enough.  Kakuzu sighed.   _ Might as well get it over with. _  “I don’t get hard.  Not hard enough for sex.”

Kisame blinked.  “...you have erectile dysfunction?”

Kakuzu clenched his fist.  “Yes.”

“Oh,” Kisame said, and then grinned, “but you’d still feel good, if I was touching you anyway?”

Kakuzu stared at Kisame blankly for a moment.  “...you don’t seem to mind my...problem.”   _ Is he faking to avoid hurting my feelings? Dumbass. _

Kisame shrugged.  “Listen, as long as I can reciprocate somehow I couldn’t care less.  I mean, just  _ look _ at you,”-- here Kisame let his eyes flit up and down over Kakuzu’s ruined body-- “you’re hot as shit.”

“You’re being serious?” Kakuzu was very, very confused.  And skeptical.

“Yeah,” Kisame breathed, and leaned forward to kiss Kakuzu’s crooked nose.

Kakuzu lay silent and still for a while, trying to process the lack of rejection.  

_...I’ve never had a partner who hasn’t at least  _ teased  _ me. _

Kisame made a concerned face, mouth pulling down at the corners and brow creasing.  “Kakuzu?  Are you okay?”

Kakuzu thought about it for a moment.  “I’m having trouble believing you, Kisame.”

Kisame’s brow furrowed, and something akin to grief slid past behind his eyes.  “About what, exactly?”

“...you really don’t care about my erectile dysfunction.”

Kisame heaved a sigh.  “Kakuzu, I really, really don’t.  I kind of suspected as much, actually, since I’d never seen you with a morning wood.”

_ Of course he’d notice.  _ Kakuzu’s mouth thinned.  “Well, at least you aren’t stupid, Hoshigaki.”

Kisame gave a faltering grin.

Kakuzu sighed and reached forward to touch his arm for reassurance.  “I’m not angry.  Well, actually,” Kakuzu amended, “I am a little, but mostly at myself.”

Kisame blinked.  “...I wasn’t lying about finding you hot as shit, either.”

Kakuzu grunted.  “Doubtful.  I mean, have you looked at me properly? My body’s literally being held together with modified hair.”

Kisame’s nose wrinkled, but not in disgust.  “And I look and smell like a fish.  Kakuzu, we’re both monsters, but that doesn’t mean we aren’t attractive.”

Kakuzu heaved a sigh and pushed his face into Kisame’s shoulder.  “Fine,” he said, mostly because he wanted to avoid an argument where he’d inevitably lose his temper.  Kisame’s hand came up to stroke up and down Kakuzu’s back.  “And for the record, Kisame,” Kakuzu added after a moment of thought, “you only smell like fish after a hard workout.”

Kisame grunted in assent.

After a while, when Kakuzu was half-asleep, Kisame said, “Kakuzu, you probably want to take it slow...but I’d really like to have penetrative sex with you.”

“Mmgrph?”  Kakuzu replied, face still mushed into Kisame’s shoulder.

“Yeah, I’d really like that.”  Kisame hummed.  “You’re probably too sleepy to decide now.”

Kakuzu huffed and closed his eyes.

\---

He woke with his arm slung over Kisame’s middle and Kisame breathing on his face.   _ Blegh, my face is all warm and wet. _  Kakuzu wrinkled his nose and pulled away.  Kisame twitched and then rolled away from Kakuzu towards the wall, taking the blankets with him.  Kakuzu yawned blearily, and turned over so he could get up.  He nearly fell out of bed when he was met face-to-face with a furious looking Uchiha.

Automatically, Kakuzu’s chakra spiked and the stitches holding his body together loosened so he could spear Itachi if need be.  Kakuzu’s eyes narrowed.  “Yes?” (behind him, Kisame was opening his eyes, mumbling something)

“If I hear  _ one  _ more weird sex noise coming from your bed in the middle of the night I’m going to castrate you both.”  Itachi was red with a mixture of embarrassment and annoyance.

Kakuzu hid his mortified reaction behind a scowl.  “I’d like to see you try.”

Kisame made an alarmed noise.  “Itachi, what exactly did you hear…?”

Itachi crossed his arms and pulled back.  “I’m not going to talk about this any more.  Just keep your weird adult-sex-things to yourselves. Ugh..” And with a shudder, Itachi withdrew to his side of the room to read a book.

“I thought you were in the library,” Kisame said, sounding bewildered, betrayed, and a little bit lost.

Itachi merely turned a page (he was most  _ definitely  _ sulking.) 

Kakuzu grunted, stood, and decided he was going to go to the kitchen for a bit and drown his embarrassment with tea.  And some number crunching.  Number crunching always helped.

Those tax documents wouldn’t fill themselves out, after all.

 

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing porn...it's kind of difficult? Not entirely satisfied with the tonal changes but it's done.  
> let me know what you think, please! I am planning on writing another >:3


End file.
